They made us believe

They made us believe that real love, the one that’s strong, only happens once, more likely before your thirties.

They never told us that love is not something that you can put in motion, neither has time schedule.

They made us believe that each one of us is the half of an orange, and that life only makes sense when u find that other half.

They did not tell us that we were born as whole, and that no-one in our lives deserve to carry on his back such responsibility of completing what is missing on us: we grow through life by ourselves. If we have a good company it’s just more pleasant.

They made us believe in a formula “two in one”: two people sharing the same line of thinking, same ideas, and that it is what works.

It’s never been told that it has another name: invalidation, that only two individuals with their own personality is how you can have a healthy relationship. It has been made to believe that marriage is an obliged institution and that fantasies out of hour should be repressed.

They made us believe that the thin and beautiful are the ones who is more loved, that the ones that have little sex are boring, and the ones that has a lot of it are not trustful, and that will always have a old shoes to a crooked foot; what they forgot to tell us is that there are more crooked minds than feet.

They made us believe that there’s one way formula to be happy, the same one to everybody, and the ones that escape from that are condemned to be delinquents.

We have never been told that those formulas go wrong, they get people frustrated, they are alienating, and that we can try other alternatives.

Oh! Also they did not tell us that no one will tell those things to us. Each and everyone of us will have to learn by ourselves.

And, when we get to the point that you are in love with yourself first, that’s when you can fall in love with somebody.

John Lennon

Refill

Emptiness. Like when you finish a perfectly well prepared drink, the one you enjoyed for around twenty minutes, depending on the speed of your drinking habits. You cling on to that glass almost tenderly, you savor its content and appreciate the design of the item itself, it’s pretty and cold; your fingers establish a connection to the moistly material and your lips seal the encounter with not one but several kisses. Twenty minutes in which you begin to develop some sort of affection to it, until it is empty.

What do you do with an empty glass?

Some will save it if there is a meaning attached to the object and it will sit in a shelf for a while until it loses significance. What normally happens is that you try to order a new glass of the same drink, sometimes people try to be creative and they ask for something different, taking the risk of not liking what the new content may be like. It may seem too sweet, or sour, or stronger that what they expected or what they are used to have. In the event that they like it they will probably stick to it until it’s gone and restart the process all over again. But what if they don’t like it? If even after one or two sips they just don’t grow fond to that particular drink; well they leave it and ask for a new one, most likely the same one they ordered first, go on the safe side.

And the almost-full glass remains there, untouched and ignored. It will probably end up thrown away, because no one will have a drink that has been tasted already. It never gets to be emptied; it was not given the possibility to. And it goes on and on like that. Empty drinks that complete their duties and become useless, never able to receive, always condemned to give and give; never getting anything in return. People who get used to replace an empty glass with a new one, not thinking about maybe switching places and filling the glass with their own contents and then continuing. No, empty? Gone. New one, please; same drink or maybe a new one, let’s find out what happens. What’s the worst thing that could result? Shattered glass? It doesn’t really matter, its disposable after all.

Sinks filled with empty tall crystal glasses that lie on top of the other just wondering about why were they left like that when they still had so much to give, hidden underneath the surface of heavy liquor; the cold touch on moistly fingertips remains… And so does the desire to receive what has been taken from them.

Maybe emptiness does not exist at all and it’s only our mind that creates it out of boredom and lack of commitment, maybe it’s the other way around, maybe we are overfilled and just not capable of noticing it. 

To live within a dream

Why do we dream what we dream? Does it really mean anything?

Everything?

I sometimes find myself waking up on some of the weirdest dreams. Things that are not only unlikely to happen but also not what I would wish to happen in what I often refer to as “real life”.

It’s a mystery, this whole “subconscious” thing, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to understand my conscious self, let alone my dreams.

I used to write them down, every single detail the very moment I opened my eyes, because later you just forget them, they vanish taking with them their hidden meaning, because they have got to mean something.

Until one day when I was around thirteen I wrote in red ink one particularly odd dream in a little notebook I kept at my nightstand; and someone read it. Like, why? Talk about privacy and trust… Anyway, I lost the habit for a while; I am currently working on gaining it back.

Very few things can be as heartbreaking as waking up to a dream you believed for the longest seconds to be your reality, shutting your eyes and hoping to go back, or bring it to this version of your life; but I’ve never made it. I just lay there, wondering about all the possibilities of what could have been but it’s not. “Pursue your dream” many will tell you, but what they don’t include in that empowering order is the fact that sometimes it’s not totally up to you. 

To follow an imperative order

Don’t you dare to stop,

Keep going on,

Even if you fail to catch your breath,

Even if your heart may skip a beat.

Don’t you dare to stop

For your dreams won’t come true by themselves

For your soul wont nourish from numbness

Don’t you dare to stop

Find your reasons, your motif

Whatever that may be

For it is yours only to believe in

And if one day

You find yourself able to share that drive,

Don’t hesitate,

Take that chance

To push someone who is just about to stop

But remember

Darling,

Don’t you ever dare to stop

?

Wake up.

Where are you?

Is this the stage you hoped for?

Are you happy with it?

Content?

Or would you like to change it?

If that’s the case,

It’s now or never.

Or who knows,

Maybe someday

The chance will come

Once more

Who are you?

And I’m not asking about the mirror’s opinion

Who-are-you?

What are you?

Not how or why,

What

A person

Now qualify it

Good person?

Happy person?

Miserable person?

Or just

A person?

Plain and simple

Why are you here?

Wherever that is

Have you got a purpose?

Do you know it?

Are you attempting it?

Why?

Who told you to?

Did they?

Think about it,

How much of what you call you

Is it really yours

To own, change,

Delete or,

Give away?